Laken Tomlinson removed his New York Jets cap, cupped his hands in front of his face, and shed tears.
He lost his daughter just 18 days after she was born, and the pain of that loss is still fresh and painful.
The offensive lineman, who is 30 years old, has been crying for three years as part of the healing process. And he’s not sure if it will ever end for real.
In a talk with The Associated Press, Tomlinson said, “I love my family.” “When I play a game, I do it for my family. I play for her on game day. Every game.
“Since then, before every game, I cry. Because right now she’s pushing me.”
Rachel Tomlinson had Claire Abigail in 2019 through a planned cesarean section. At the time, her husband, Laken, was playing for the 49ers.
The baby girl was born early, but the Tomlinsons didn’t expect the tragedy when they left the hospital without her less than three weeks later.
Laken Tomlinson said, “I’ve always been lucky because I’ve had a lot of chances.” “I’ve never really taken anything for granted. But I’ve never wanted something so badly before.”
Tomlinson likes to keep the details of what happened to himself, and he has only just started talking about how sad it was for his family.
He said softly, “I can’t give you much more.” “It’s too dark.”
He cried when he talked about how he lost his daughter for the first time in public on the Jets’ “One Jets Drive” documentary series. Tomlinson has been an advocate for mental health for a long time.
His wife, his mother Audrey Wilson, and other family members have been there for him and given him support and love.
“I don’t think I’d be here in front of you if I didn’t have those people on my side,” Tomlinson said. “I don’t know, I might be somewhere else.”
Many of Tomlinson’s teammates and friends are now learning about the hell he went through in his personal life while trying to do well on the field.
He said, “I’m not really a personal person.” “I try to be very professional, especially on the field. Because I’m a football player at the end of the day, I don’t like my personal life to be very public. I’m supposed to have fun for the fans, right?
“But I’m also a person, you know. I also have my own kids. A husband. A son.”
Tomlinson was born in Savanna-la-Mar, Jamaica, and at the age of 11 moved to Chicago’s Rogers Park neighborhood with his family.
After a growth spurt early in high school, Tomlinson became a star in both football and track and field.